sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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