Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
