margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
