a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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