Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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