It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
