hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
