I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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