dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I understand Curling. That high.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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