Sponge bath it is.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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