I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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