i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Panties = found
Randomize
