Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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