So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
