she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
