I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
