Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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