I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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