Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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