Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I intend to get homeless drunk
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
