Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
