i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
