he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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