i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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