yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
