so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
