ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize