Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
