My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
