Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
