i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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