Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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