DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
