we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
