that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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