We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
