sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
