I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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