Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I deserve this hangover.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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