I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The uberlube is also flammable
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
