Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
