oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
