There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
