I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
vagina is talking i cant
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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