we're blogging at a bar
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
