i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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