The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
