I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
