Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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