Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
