I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
