I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
