I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
