I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i think i just lost a toe
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
